---It's hard to write when things are going good
I've always had the hardest time writing when life is going well, or even okay. I think it has to do with how my mind processes positive and negative emotions.
When experiencing positive emotions, it feels odd--like I don't even notice them happening. In the moment, I have to ask myself if I actually feel good. If I don't, they may just pass me by and I'd never know they happened. It almost feels like there is a ceiling that I hit, and my mind isn't capable of understanding emotions beyond a moderately above-average range.
Negative emotions on the other hand are incredibly vivid. The depths that they can reach seem endless and my mind processes them seamlessly. I don't have to take the time to understand what I'm feeling. I can recognize them clearly. And understanding something is key to writing about it effortlessly.
I'm not disappointed by this realization. It's more just an observation of myself and one that I'm writing to understand.
Right now though, everything seems like it will be okay again.
---untitled_operator